I’ve began to see things a different light now. I’ve regained relationships lost in the past & I’ve finally gotten the chance to delete the negative influences out of my life. Thankful to have some reassurance for once. Next up; drivers licensee, college planning, family time, sister’s wedding, and senior year. #YUS
I can’t say it enough. I miss our friendship. I feel as though you think of it as nothing. To me, it was irreplaceable and no one else had a bond that strong. But to you… We’re nothing. Actually, I shouldn’t say these things. I have no idea what is going through your mind, or if I actually do cross your mind periodically. I probably do though. We were close for over a year. The fact that you can throw away what we had so easily… I question you. Do you simply hate me? Are you mad that I pushed you away? Do you care? Do you feel sorry for me? Do you think I’m just overdramatic? Actually, I don’t care what you think about me… wait, that’s a big fat lie. Of course I care what you think of me. You were my best friend. You were my boyfriend. I talked to you at all hours of the day. You’d make me laugh all the time. The feelings I had for you were indescribable. The way we simply looked at each other.. I know it was real. It HAD to be real. Did you change? Did I change? We probably both changed, actually. I just wish we didn’t end on a bad note. I know I was a bitch to you… and you weren’t so pleasant to me either, but really.. does it HAVE to be like this? DO we have to be like every other ex couple out there? Do we have to act like complete strangers? I know what we had was better that that…MUCH better than that, actually. I don’t understand.. We’re different. What we had was different… or so I thought…I’m not hurt anymore about the break up. I’m happy… And no, I haven’t hurt myself in anyway because of you. I have no idea where you got that from. And it upsets me that you think I do those things in general because you should know me better than that. And if you thought so, I feel like you should have approached ME… not a friend of mine about it. If you were really worried, that is… It’s just the fact that you were my best friend and I care about you so much. I want to be there for you like I have always been. Please understand that. I’m not the type of person to throw away a friendship just like that, but you have left me no choice. I feel like I’m FORCING myself to throw it away and pretend nothing happened. I don’t want to do that. I’m thankful to have had you, and I wish you were still somehow in my life. Because no matter what, you will mean something to me in some way. I know I’ve been sour these past few months… But it was only to protect myself.. or so I thought. I’ve held this shield against myself. I try to avoid thinking about it as much as possible, because it deeply hurts me that we are on such bad terms. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I know that I’m at fault, as well. We have both made our mistakes and it was neither one of our faults… I just wish I can talk to you… for one last time…You might hate me, or never want to talk to me again for whatever reason you have. But I care for you and I wish I could have expressed that better. And if I never talk to you again… Goodbye. I will always love you in some way.
“Love gets so sexualized in our world. We start to feel like there is no love outside of romantic love. There are lots of wonderful love stories that have nothing to do with sex or romance, and I guess I wanted to write one of those.”—John Green (on writing Will Grayson, Will Grayson with David Levithan)